


Grit and Glitter

by UchihaNaruto_2



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drinking, F/F, F/M, Just a tad sexy not too much, M/M, Minor Drug Use, University AU, its in my blood, lesbos thanks, sakuino:)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 02:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21486709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchihaNaruto_2/pseuds/UchihaNaruto_2
Summary: In which Sakura and Co. are college seniors, and Sakura is obsessed with the alluring DJ Ino.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata/Inuzuka Kiba, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Grit and Glitter

**Author's Note:**

> ahahaaa what’s up everybody this is what i’ve been workin on for the past week or so. i’m really hoping that you guys like this one as much as you liked my first fic, since these are both close to my heart. sakuino for life :)
> 
> update 11/24: i fixed it guys

“Outta your league, Sakura. And, there’s no such thing as a ‘meet-cute.’ We live in reality.”

Sakura sighed, shrugged, and ran a hand over her face in extreme exasperation. “I’m trying to tell you! We reached for the book at the _ same time. _ What is that, if it isn’t destiny?” Sakura’s eyes were pleading. She threw her hands in the air hopelessly. She knew just as well as they were telling her. That girl, that _ woman _ was nowhere near Sakura’s orbit. She was in her own universe, she was the center of the universe. Sakura slumped back against the beanbag chair she was lounging in. It was hopeless, she knew, to continue to look for signs in the two minute interaction she’d had with the girl. But that’s just who Sakura was.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Sakura,” he said shortly. She was getting on his nerves, and he was done talking about this. Naruto, on the other hand, rolled closer to her in the desk chair he was occupying. “Tell us the story one more time, maybe there’s a part we’re missing?” 

Sakura sat up straight again, and launched into the story. “So, I was in the library, packing up and shit. Long day of studying, I just wanted to go to sleep. So, I was walking up to the references desk, to turn in the markers I had used, and I saw a book about flower anatomy that caught my eye. I was reaching for it, but then, like, in slow motion, I saw her hand coming towards mine. She had purple nail polish on, and three rings on, and I saw her hand coming towards me, towards mine anyway, and I almost retracted but I didn’t, I don’t know why. I let our hands touch. Well, I guess _ we _ let our hands touch. She brushed her fingers against the back of my hand, and then I did retract, because what the fuck. She touched me, oh my God. She had a tattoo on her finger, I think it was a circle or something. And I looked at her, at her face. She was fucking—I don’t know, man. She’s pale. And, her eyes were this _ blue _I’ve never seen before in my life.” Sakura shook her head. She felt ridiculous even telling this story for the second time.

“She gave me a look, like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. She just looked me up and down, and took the book, and then she was gone. And I stood there, watching the place that she’d left, for two whole minutes. I forgot what I was even doing there. She just, she stumped me. Her skin was all out, her stomach and stuff. She has a belly ring. I think she has _ nipple _rings. Long blonde hair. She wore purple, and fucking fishnets! She had on fishnets underneath her skirt. A bra for a shirt. Bright pink lip gloss, huge fuckin’ earrings. She’s the girl of my dreams.” Sakura looked up from where she had been picking at a hangnail. “Ok,” she waved a hand, to let them know that they had the floor to speak. “Don’t be so harsh this time, Sasuke.”

“You noticed all of those things about her in two minutes? Wow. It took me four months to realize Sasuke’s eyes are black.” Naruto shot himself out of the way just before the pillow would have hit his face. 

“Thanks for that, loser.” 

Naruto chuckled. “I’m just saying. She must have cut a very striking figure for you to have seen all of that and remember it. But, I mean, I think Sasuke is kind of right.” Naruto licked the salt from his chips off of his fingers. “I wouldn’t say she’s out of your league, I don’t think. Just, she sounds really cool. And you’re…” Sakura grimaced. “I’m what, Naruto?”

Naruto grew sheepish and pulled at his collar. “Uh… let’s just say she sounds cooler than you.” Sasuke had rolled over on Sakura’s lofted bed to look down at the both of them. “Sakura isn’t cool at all. She reads books for fun. She draws diagrams of the insides of flowers for _ fun. _There’s no way a girl like that would go out with you. Or even be seen with you, besides asking you for the answers to the homework.” Sakura made a sound in her throat. “Ugh, fuck! I don’t even have time for this, I have a botany exam tomorrow. I need to study. Which means get out.”

Even after Sasuke and Naruto left, Sakura was still obsessing over the girl. The _ woman. _ She sat with her head in her hand and thought about her. What was her name? What was her major, what did she like? Did her skin feel as soft as it looked? Sakura just wanted to _ see. _She shook her head then, forced herself to pull her laptop out of her bag and start studying. It wouldn’t do her any good to be thinking about a girl who she’d probably never see again. Even if she did see her again, Sakura reasoned, there would be nothing to say. Sasuke was right. Sakura was hopelessly uncool.

***

Sure, Sakura had seen the fliers up, in the dining hall, in the common areas, in the library, in the coffee shops. She was well aware that there was a party happening in 3 days. What she was also aware of, hyper aware, was that the _ woman, _ going by the name ‘DJ Ino,’ was, well, the DJ. There was her picture, her looking all seductive and grown up. Sakura felt so juvenile, looking at her. _ Ino. _She was so interesting. Sakura had torn the flier down the moment she’d first seen it and shoved it into her bag. She had facetimed Hinata as soon as she got back to their room. 

“Look, look, look at it!” Sakura waved the paper in front of her laptop camera. “Wait, slow down, wait, I can’t see it.” Sakura held the picture of Ino’s face up to the camera and held it still for a moment, waiting for Hinata’s reaction. “Ah… she’s pretty cool looking, I’ll give you that. But, I mean, she doesn’t look like the kind of girl to just, you know, be alone?”

Sakura watched Hinata’s face move in and out of the camera as she walked back to their room with mild confusion. “What do you mean?” Hinata looked down at her camera for a second at the sound of Sakura’s voice. “Uh, you know. The way you described her, the way she looks. She’s probably got a phone full of men, women, whatever. You can’t expect a girl like _ that _to be single. Well, she’s probably single. But not alone.” Sakura hated how right Hinata sounded. She fiddled with her thin black headband in annoyance. “Hey, is the door unlocked? Let me in.”

Hinata hung up, and Sakura pushed herself out of the desk chair to open the door. “Where is your key?” Hinata shrugged and threw her bag onto her bed. “Uh, I don’t know…?” she said in a tone of voice that told Sakura she knew exactly where it was. “You really left your _ key _with him?”

Hinata shrugged again. She pulled the ponytail holder from her hair, so that her tresses flew down from the messy bun they were in to hit her shoulders. “I didn’t mean to, not the first time.” Hinata pulled her laptop and notebook from her lilac backpack. “I just, I can’t help it, ok? You’re no better. Remember _ Sasuke _?” Sakura shook her head and covered her ears. “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you!”

Hinata was doubled over from laughing so hard. “Ok, ok,” she said breathlessly. “I mean, Kiba isn’t as bad as Sasuke. First of all, he’s not leading me on, because he doesn’t like boys. So there’s one.” Hinata didn’t even look up to catch Sakura’s eye roll. “Second, he has a dog. A very cute, very sweet dog. Cute boy, good boy.” Sakura rolled her eyes again, harder. She climbed up onto her bed with her computer after throwing her headband off. “A dog isn’t enough. Also, are you sure he doesn’t like boys? He gets really close to that one guy, what’s his name? I always forget.” Sakura snapped her fingers to jog her memory. 

“Ugh, Shino? No, no. No one thinks of him. Get real.” Sakura tsk’d. “Ah, you never know,” she said, dragging out the last word. “He might do you like Sasuke did me. ‘Hey, Hinata, I didn’t mean to, but I let this guy suck my dick the other night, and I liked it, so it’s over.’ Great times, good times.” Hinata laughed lightly. “_ No one _is going to do me like that. I’ll taze him. And then steal his dog.”

“You will cry for weeks.”

“Ok, but you don’t have to go that hard? We both know this. I’ll just have Neji punch him, or something.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow at her computer screen. “Oh, cousin Neji. He still with Tenten?” Hinata scoffed. “Sakura,” she said, “they’re married.”

“Ok, ok. It was worth a shot.”

“So, wait. You’re _ going _to that?” Hinata leaned down and picked up the discarded flier from the ground. “Gonna be jamming out to DJ Ino’s tunes, hm?” Sakura snorted. “Yeah, right. I’d only stand in the corner, hold up the wall, or something.”

“You sure? Naruto has been talking about it, Kiba told me. I mean, I’m going. Kiba’s going, and so is Temari… Naruto and Sasuke, too, apparently. I just didn’t expect it to be your kind of thing.” Hinata laid the flier down among the other mess of hair clips and pencils on her bedside table, pushed her hair out of her face, and looked up at Sakura. 

Sakura shrugged in response. “Oh, I don’t know. I’ll probably just stay here. It isn’t my kind of thing. I have some more research I need to go over with Professor Tsunade, too. I’ll just wait it out, I think.” Hinata nodded, and went back to her furious typing. “Mm, ok. Let me know if you change your mind. I want to pick out your outfit that you’ll be wearing when you meet ‘the girl of your dreams.’” Sakura looked up fast to see Hinata doing air quotes. Sakura’s face was growing red even faster. “He did _ not.” _Hinata giggled. “He did.”

“Well, I don’t know. Pick me out an outfit, just in case?” Hinata gave Sakura an evil look. “With pleasure.”

***

Sakura felt underdressed. She was standing between Naruto and Kiba, who were each talking to Sasuke and Hinata, respectively. She had been talking to Temari, but then Shikamaru had texted her, and Sakura had the sneaking suspicion that they were fucking in one of the empty spare bedrooms. In this house full of people, Sakura felt so alone. She sighed and then coughed again for the hundredth time. There was a haze in this room. There was a grittiness, too, like the air had something in it. Of course, Sakura knew that more than half of these kids were vaping, and the others were probably literally smoking something or other. Still, there was a sheen to it all, like, glitter or something. Maybe that’s what was in the air, literal glitter. Sakura couldn’t breathe, and she sure as fuck couldn’t hear anything. 

Ino’s beats were loud. Sakura hadn’t gone to a party in months, sure. Still, she hadn’t expected her ears to be going numb this fast, or for her chest to have been hurting from the moment she set foot across the threshold. Sakura could see her, if she squinted. She was squinting anyway, it was smoky. When Sakura looked, it felt like the room was moving far away, like Ino was moving farther and farther away. Sakura hadn’t bothered trying to get closer. She had a drink in her hand, halfway empty. It was sweet, so sweet that Sakura didn’t think she’d finish it. Her skirt was riding up, and Hinata had refused to let her wear leggings underneath. She was wearing a red crop top, with a diamond in the middle, and that was about it. No bra. Sakura had drawn the line at no underwear. 

Naruto was on his way to being sloppy drunk. Sasuke looked sick of him. Sakura had had two cups. Naruto had had _ five _. “Seriously, no more,” Sasuke growled, snatching Naruto’s cup from him and drinking the rest. “See, there. Now there’s no more.” Naruto was clinging to Sasuke pathetically, all needy, hanging off of Sasuke’s neck. “You’re no fun,” he said, and then he whispered something in Sasuke’s ear that made him look up at the ceiling in exasperation. “You’re a fucking idiot,” Sakura heard Sasuke shout. She turned her eyes from them to Hinata and Kiba, who were looking intently at something on his phone. 

“Ugh,” Sakura groaned. There was no reason for her to be standing here, wearing nothing, feeling like she was getting dirty every second she stayed there. No one was talking to her, she should have just studied tonight. Sakura’s hand tightened around her cup. She shouldered her way through the crowd, saying ‘excuse me’ and ‘my bad’ every few seconds to make up for how much she was bumping into people. Her feet were taking her towards the nearest door. As Sakura passed through the kitchen, she dumped out her drink and picked up a new one. Might as well, she told herself.

From the heat of the party to the heat of the night. It hit Sakura before she had gotten the door open even a sliver. Still, it was refreshing. Sakura felt like she could breathe without inhaling dust, glitter, and other people’s breath. She leaned against the cool brick wall of the house next to the sliding door, held her cup to her chest, and closed her eyes. Sakura took a deep draw of the September air. She ran an anxious hand into her hair and left it there in a fist. Why had she come here again? Hinata’s voice was in the back of her mind. 

“The girl of your dreams.” 

Sakura touched her lips, and smiled lightly. Oh, yeah. That’s why. She looked through the glass at the party inside; the lights, the thumping beat, the visible haze over everything, the people inside. Some people were grinding, and some were actually paying attention to the music. Sakura’s eyes caught Hinata and Kiba making out. She winced and looked out into the night again. There were people out here, in the pool and stuff, dancing. They were more drunkenly excited, now that Sakura had opened the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see more people making out on one of the pool chairs. “Fucking—”

“Sakura?” 

Sakura jumped and spun around. She breathed a sigh of relief to see Sai. “Oh, it’s you. What are _ you _doing here?” If parties weren’t Sakura’s thing, Sai didn’t have a thing. He did, though, his thing was painting. She’d learned a lot about sketching from him, actually. He had been one of her lab partners in freshman year, him and Naruto. They’d let her do all the work, but she was glad to. 

Sai shrugged. He had been lounging on one of the pool chairs, but he sat up and made space for Sakura to sit with him. “Just here to observe, mostly. I’ve run out of things to paint, lately. I was hoping to find a muse here.” Sakura snorted. “So you picked a crowded party, where you probably won’t be able to pick out one individual face? Nice going.” She punched his shoulder and took a sip from her drink. This one was a lot stronger. Definitely vodka. He laughed. “I mean, there’s got to be someone here. Like, have you seen the DJ? She’s… something.”

Sakura fixed Sai with a hard gaze. “_ Have _I seen her?” Sai laughed again. “I take it you have.” Sakura nodded, but it devolved into her shaking her head slowly. “She’s something, alright.” Now probably wasn’t the best time to tell someone about the wet dreams she’d been having about the tall blonde stranger, so Sakura pressed her lips together and looked through the glass again. “I don’t belong here,” she told Sai after a long silence, without looking at him. He hummed in response, so Sakura kept talking. 

“This isn’t my world.” She was looking at the party through the window, with her back to Sai. “I came here to see her, get a glimpse of her. I know there’s no chance in hell, I don’t know. Sometimes, I just don’t know when to quit.” Sakura felt Sai’s hand on her shoulder, and she turned to look at him. He was smiling. “You’re here, right? So, technically, this is your world now. You’re telling me you haven’t had the smallest amount of fun tonight?”

Sakura tilted her head and lifted one shoulder. “I mean… I was dancing with Sasuke, that was fun. Then Naruto got mad, and made Sasuke stand with him and pay attention to him. Then, I started drinking, and Hinata and I were dancing, but then Kiba started showing her shit on his phone. And Temari left with Shikamaru within five minutes.” Sai pursed his lips. “Sounds… fun?”

“Eh. I kind of wish I hadn’t even come,” Sakura admitted. Sai shook his head. “No, no. It’s good to get out. Even if it’s not what you thought it would be. You’re meant to bloom, Sakura. You’re not meant to quit.” Sakura wiped at her treacherous eyes. Why was she crying? “Th-thank you, Sai.” Her words were beginning to slur. How was she going to get home? She didn’t even know. Everyone was drinking, literally all of them. Maybe Hinata would be sober enough to take her back to the dorm, if she didn’t try to leave with asshole Kiba. No, that’s probably exactly what they’d do. Naruto and Sasuke were hopeless, too. Sakura glanced at Sai’s hands. Her face fell when she saw the cup in his hand. 

“What?”

“Oh, I was just thinking of how I’d get home, to bed.” Sai nodded. “I don’t even know where I am,” Sakura said, giggling. She clutched her cup weakly and drained it. “Sakura, maybe you should slow down,” Sai said, but Sakura was already standing and moving back to the inside of the house to get some more. Something had clicked in her, she didn’t know what it was. She wanted to get fucked up. She might as well, right? She was already here. 

Sakura stumbled her way back inside, and picked up the nearest cup to her. She drained it in two seconds. More, more, she needed more. If she was going to be here, she might as well make it memorable. Or, drink so much that she forgot what happened. Sakura caught a glimpse of Temari and Shikamaru standing in the doorway of the kitchen, and she squinted. Was that…? No, it couldn’t be _ the _Ino, talking to her friends.

“Shikamaru, hey!” Sakura waved from across the kitchen. Temari’s resting bitch face broke into a wide grin. “Sakura!” Sakura slithered gracelessly through the crowd between them after snatching someone’s cup from them, the pardons forgotten this time. Her knees were shaking when she finally stood before them. She spied hickeys on Temari’s neck, but she was much too focused on Ino to mention them. 

There she was, a sheen of sweat on her skin, standing just as tall and blonde and fucking _ fantastic _as ever. She was a fantasy. Sakura shook her head slightly, to try to wake herself up. This had to be a dream, this couldn’t be real. There was glitter on Ino’s skin, trailing all the way from her neck into the cleavage of her breasts. Sakura could see the nipple rings through Ino’s wash rag of a shirt. It was, like, four inches squared, tied behind her neck in a bow knot. It was purple, of course. Ino was wearing the fishnets again, and a different skirt. Sakura could see her full thighs, her cut and toned abdomen, her bright blue belly ring, her bright blue eyes, the jut of her hips just below the cinch of her waist. Her left hand rested on one hip, while the other was wrapped around a cup that she was pressing to her lips. Shikamaru eyed Sakura wearily. 

“Are you good?” His voice was laced with concern, but Sakura missed it. “I’m fine, yeah,” she said, though she felt like she’d said it backwards. Temari wrapped a steadying arm around Sakura’s shoulders. “You know Ino, right?” Sakura’s eyes followed Temari’s gesture, to Ino’s pretty face. Her hair was pulled up into two buns on either side of her head. Ino was _ smiling _at her. Giving her a soft look. She offered a small wave. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” she said. Her voice was dreamy, but still a little raspy. Sakura suspected she smoked, or something. “I’m Ino.”

“We _ have _met, actually.” Sakura crossed her arms, all matter-of-fact and obnoxious. “In the library, remember. You stole the flower book. I was trying to learn about chrysanthemum anthers.” Ino’s face displayed mild confusion for a moment before she exclaimed. “Oh! Oh, yeah. That was you? You looked so… different, that day.” Temari laughed and shoved Sakura lightly. She still went flying into the edge of the doorway. “Yeah, Sakura, your ass is out! Who dressed you, Naruto?”

Sakura laughed hard, too hard. Why would Naruto dress her, what a ridiculous idea! “No! Hinata did. She said she wanted to pick out my outfit when I met—” Sakura covered her mouth with a gasp. That was almost bad. Inner Sakura would be very mad with Sakura tomorrow when she woke up if she slipped up and said something like that around Ino. Temari’s eyebrows furrowed. “When you met who?”

Sakura was still laughing when she started feeling dizzy. “No one, nobody at all,” she said, and she tried to sing it, but she just ended up slumping against the wall. “Woah, Sakura.” 

Sakura’s eyes opened wide, fast. Ino had caught her from where she had just nearly fainted. Sakura had dropped her empty cup. Her eyes grew so soft. “Hi,” she said quietly. Ino smiled at her, though she did look a little weirded out. Sakura could _ smell _Ino. She wore a scent that Sakura had never smelled before; it was probably Chanel, or Gucci, or YSL, something expensive. Ino did not seem like a cheap girl. The scent reminded Sakura of those commercials where the men are oiled up wearing only underwear and the women wore bikinis. And yet, it also had a note of sitting alone in a flower field. Oh, Sakura was so fucked. 

Sakura could see her, really see her, and she forgot where she was. The dizziness went away, but everything still seemed black around the edges. “Your hair,” Sakura said stupidly, reaching unsteadily to place her hand on Ino’s shoulder. “Hm? Let’s get you out of here. Where’s her room?”

Temari told Ino where to take Sakura, and the next thing Sakura remembered was being laid on Hinata’s bed. “This isn’t my—” Ino pressed her slender finger to Sakura’s slick lips. “Do you want to bust your head open? You’re bound to roll off and fall. Closer to the ground you are, the better.” Ino lifted up off of Sakura then, and sat back on her heels on the bed to watch Sakura. Sakura watched Ino right back. Of all the times, why was her mind in the gutter _ now? _Sakura had no defense against her imagination; to be fair, Ino left little to it.

Her nipples were ever visible, even in the dim lamp light of the room. Sakura traced the curve of Ino’s waist, down to her hips, down to her thighs, with her eyes. She wanted to consume, to _ be _consumed by Ino. Luckily enough for her, her mouth wasn't cooperating with her thoughts, so all she could muster was a weak, “clothes,” that brought Ino out of whatever daydream she was in. “Close, close the door? Yeah, sorry, it’s probably drafty.”

“No—” 

Ino stood and went to close the door. Sakura watched her walk away, and then facepalmed. _ God _. What a wimp she was, weak as all the fucks. When Ino came back to sit with Sakura, she brought a wet bundle of paper towels to lay over Sakura’s forehead. “How much have you had tonight? Be honest.” Ino was laughing, and after she checked her phone, she put it face down on the side table. Her full attention was on Sakura. Sakura wanted to shrink. Instead, she shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. Four, I think.” 

Ino’s face was going over Sakura’s. “I feel like I’ve heard of you. You’re… Haruno Sakura, right?” Sakura nodded. Her head was spinning, so she stopped, and closed her eyes. “Yes, that’s me,” she said feebly. “Not much, just me.” Sakura suddenly remembered that her ass was out, that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She was so glad that she’d put her foot down about the panties. She pulled weakly at her skirt to cover her butt. It just made her stomach show more, and put more emphasis on the fact that her tits were out underneath the small shirt she was wearing. Seriously, did Hinata stitch this shirt together from pieces of paper? Sakura’s nipples were nearly poking completely through it. 

“No, no, you’re the one doing research with Professor Tsunade, right? The stuff about the bug populations and how they’re affecting the flowers in the commons courtyard?” Sakura’s eyes opened, and after they had focused, she gazed at Ino. “Uh, yeah? What about it?” Ino’s face and voice turned excited. She even clapped her hands together. Sakura’s eyebrow twitched. “I have read the papers you guys published! I’m so.. wow. You’re, like, famous to me. I talk about you all the time, I’ve never known it was you.”

Sakura’s face was irrevocably red. She hoped the light of the lamp masked it. “W-what? You’ve heard of me?” Ino made Sakura sit back down. “Yeah, yes. I’d ask you about it, but now’s not the best time.” Ino reached for her phone to check the time. She texted someone back, and then swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “Is your roommate going to come back tonight?”

“Oh, no. She’s not going to be back here for at least two days. And that’s if I let her in.” Ino chuckled. “I don’t think you should be alone. Do you have any other, ahem, clothes to wear? I’ll be fine to sleep in this, but I think you should get outta these. They’re tight, and sweaty.” Sakura’s pulse was beating in her ears, in her throat, in her fingertips. She felt Ino’s red painted fingernails scratch the column of her throat as she reached underneath Sakura’s collar, no hesitation, as though she was going to pull Sakura’s bra top off. “Wait, wait, I can do it.”

“Oh, yeah. My bad.” Ino sat back, and turned her back on Sakura. She was giving her time to take her shirt off, Sakura realized. “Oh, um, could you hand me that shirt that’s on that chair?” Sakura felt that she was beginning to sober up, but then she sat up, and she knew she was mistaken. Ino handed Sakura the shirt blindly. It was Sasuke’s shirt, all black and plenty musky. She almost didn’t want to wear it because of how strongly it smelled. But, she didn’t have much of a choice. It was big, anyways. She wouldn’t have to wear pants with it.

Sakura pulled her shirt over her head slowly, completely mussing her hair. Oh well. She’d only curled it a little bit, it’d be fine. She shoved herself into Sasuke’s shirt, did a stretch, and then stood slowly. “I’m gonna… take this off?” Sakura wasn’t very sure of herself. Ino opened her eyes a crack to see Sakura had hooked her thumb underneath the waistband of her skirt. “Oh, yeah, ok.” Ino crawled up onto the bed and laid on the side closest to the wall, with her legs crossed at the ankles in the air. She looked at Sakura over her shoulder for a moment, before turning to her phone. 

Sakura sighed shakily and turned her back to Ino. She dropped her skirt, so that she was just wearing underwear, and kicked her clothes across the room, to her side. If she saw them in the morning over there she’d be more likely to wash them. Sakura turned and climbed into the bed again, this time on Ino’s side. Ino had stuck her phone into Hinata’s charger. It made Sakura giggle.

“Mm, what’s so funny?” Ino’s voice rasped in Sakura’s ear. “Oh, that’s my roommate’s charger. Silly, she’s stupid. She chose dog boy over me.” Ino turned so that she was facing Sakura in the bed. They were underneath Hinata’s comforter. Sakura could feel Ino’s body heat coming so dangerously close to hers. Her heart was beating in her throat. She was so wet, and she wanted to feel Ino’s skin so bad, but she made herself speak normally. Maybe, expressing her frustration at Hinata would make her body stop betraying her. 

But Sakura could see Ino’s hip, even underneath the covers, and it made her feel crazy. Who was this girl, making her feel all out of sorts? She wasn’t the first girl, but Sakura wanted her to be the last. Ino was watching Sakura, her lips still glossy and bright pink. Her eyes were on Sakura’s, and as drunk as she was, Sakura could still discern something _ hesitating _in Ino’s eyes. 

“Why’d you let yourself go so hard tonight?” Ino’s voice shook Sakura up out of her mind. She could feel Ino’s hand on her arm, running up and down and up and down over and over. It made Sakura shiver. “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t even know why I went. I’m surprised I haven’t thrown up all over you.” Sakura had never been more aware of her body in space. Ino’s knee had to be, what, three inches from hers? How easy it would be to just close the gap—

“Oh, I’ve seen worse,” Ino said. Sakura was grateful for all the interruptions of her train of thought, because it just kept going off the rails. Maybe, hopefully, she’d just pass the fuck out before she got too far off track. Sakura watched as Ino’s hand lifted, high above her head, and then came down, softly, gently, to thread her fingers into Sakura’s hair. Fuck.

“Your hair is such a nice color.” Sakura was melting. Being reduced to a puddle. _ Another _good reason to have worn panties tonight. “My hair? I like yours,” Sakura said poetically. Ino chuckled, and then gave a languid sigh. “It’s my only draw.” 

Sakura’s eyebrows drew together. “What d’ya mean?” Ino shrugged and her eyes fell from Sakura’s. She was looking at her nails. “I thought that maybe, DJing would make me some friends, you know? Like, at parties and stuff. All it’s gotten me is close to failing, dropping out. A little bit of money, I guess, but I love it so much. I love to watch people listen to my music, really hear me. No one listens to me, but they listen to my music.” Sakura sighed on the inside. She could listen to Ino talk all day. “But what I love more than anything, are you ready for this? I love animals. I’ve always wanted to be, like, a rancher. But my dad, he told me that I’d better get my ass to school, or else. I’m not sure what ‘or else’ meant, but I came here to please him. I’m going to get my biology degree in a few months, at this point, but what’ll I do with it? I haven’t done a single internship. The only research I’ve done is in _ lab. _ Pathetic. I won’t get a job, and then what? He’ll be disappointed in me. I’ll find out what ‘or else’ means.” Ino pouted. She looked like she was close to tears.

Sakura could only watch with sad eyes. “It’s going to be ok, beautiful. You’re so cute, too cute to cry. It’ll work out, DJ Ino.” Sakura reached clumsily for one of Ino’s buns, grasping it for a moment before letting her hand fall again. Ino sniffed hard and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Ya know, you’re alright,” Ino said, pushing at Sakura’s shoulder. Sakura yawned despite herself. She wanted to stay awake with Ino forever, in this moment forever. Nothing else existed but this beautiful, vulnerable girl telling Sakura her innermost thoughts. 

“You’re finally sleepy, huh?” Ino echoed Sakura’s yawn, which made Sakura giggle. “Here,” Ino said, “I’m gonna turn off the light.” Except, the light was on Sakura’s side, was much closer to Sakura. It made no sense, _ none _, that Ino would climb over Sakura’s body, leaning her weight on Sakura, and click the light off. Ino’s tits were in Sakura’s face. Sakura closed her eyes and bit her lip after sucking in a sharp breath, hoping this moment wouldn’t stay in her mind forever. She could feel the drag of Ino’s nipple piercings against her shoulder as she went back to her lying position. She was facing Sakura again, but this time she moved closer so that their knees were touching. Sakura felt a prickle of stress run up her spine, and heat swirling in her belly. 

“Goodnight, Haruno Sakura.” Ino’s eyes were closed as she spoke it.

“G’night, DJ Ino.” Ino’s lips curved into a smile. It was the last thing Sakura saw before she closed her eyes. 

***

Just as Sakura suspected, there was no sign Hinata had tried to come back. But, that was alright. When Sakura realized who she was next to, she pinched herself. No way, no way, no way. The fantastical woman, with her in Hinata’s bed. Not so fantastical anymore. Sakura knew it was wrong that she’d been thinking of Ino like a dream, but now at least she was beginning to realize Ino was just a girl. The most beautiful girl Sakura had ever seen, but still. Just a girl, who wanted to please her father and prove to herself that she could.

Sakura wasn’t drunk anymore. She had control of herself now, thankfully. She watched Ino sleep, and told herself that anyone would do it if they had a girl like Ino lying next to them. She snored a little. Her little, tiny shirt had shifted in her sleep, so that Sakura could see her underboob. Sakura bit her lip. Ino’s skin was still so soft-looking, and pale, and a little glittery everywhere. Sakura promised herself she’d wash Hinata’s sheets for her, since they were sweaty and sparkly now. Ino’s makeup had faded, so there were dark rings around her eyes, with her deep blue eyeshadow having faded as well. She was a mess. She was still so cute. 

Sakura drew in a sharp breath when she saw Ino starting to wake up. She yawned, and stretched her back outwards, toward the wall. Sakura heard some of her joints pop. Ino smacked her lips and blinked her eyes open in a flutter. The sun illuminated the sparkles on her chest. Sakura still felt like she was in a fantasy, like this was something she’d made up. But then Ino smiled at her, and the illusion broke. She wasn’t an angel. Just a girl. 

“Hey,” Ino whispered. She seemed to want to go back to sleep. “Hi,” Sakura replied. Ino’s hand came up, and Sakura braced herself, but then Ino’s fingers closed around her earlobe. “Oh, fuck,” she muttered. She sat up fast, making the bed dip differently. Sakura’s eyes grew wide with panic. Their knees weren’t touching anymore, Sakura felt empty.

“What, what happened?” 

“I lost my earring,” Ino said with a pout. Sakura saw it then; only one of the huge icy blue flowers was hanging from Ino’s ears. It matched her eyes. “Oh…” Sakura felt silly for thinking anything else, like Ino would reveal some kind of deep regret for staying here overnight. They didn’t even do anything, of course not. Nothing to regret. 

“Think I should just give up on it,” Ino said with a shrug. She reached up and removed her intact earring, and then held it in the palm of her hand. She was laughing, but without mirth, without smiling. “My mother gave me these,” she said. Sakura looked up at her, her eyes getting sad. Ino’s hand closed around the jewelry. Now a smile with no laughter. Sakura felt the need to be completely silent. 

“I always lose them. I should have stopped wearing them to gigs a long time ago.” Ino sighed. Sakura suddenly felt the need to look away. This wasn’t her business. She looked up at the ceiling. The sun was shining in her eyes, but she deserved it. Sakura’s hand balled into a fist. Yeah, she would do it, why not? Put herself out there. They’d already shared the bed, there was little else that could happen between them. Besides, of course—

“Do you wanna go, like, get coffee? With me?” Sakura covered her eyes with her arm, and moved it slightly to gauge Ino’s reaction. She was still looking at her closed hand. She had adjusted her outfit so that her boobs weren’t out anymore. Sakura’s eyes cut to the fishnets spanning Ino’s thighs, and then back up to her face. 

“What? Coffee? Yeah, sure.” Ino let Sakura climb of the bed first. It was then that Sakura realized that she wasn’t wearing pants, or a bra. She smelled like Sasuke. Sakura felt the need to cover up, but Ino wasn’t even looking at her. She was looking at herself, sliding two fingers into the glitter trail on her chest and then holding them up to her eyes to inspect it. “I went crazy with this shit last night.” She was giggling. Sakura wanted to follow her wherever she went. 

“Can we stop by my room, first? This isn’t exactly a casual coffee date outfit.” Ino’s eyes were closed as she smiled, and Sakura thanked God for that, because her knees were shaking again. _ Date _. “Oh, haha, yeah. Just, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna put on some pants.” Ino nodded and sat with her back against the wall. Sakura pulled her drawers open to look for something to wear. It was hot, so she decided to wear a tank top, red of course. She first slid a bra on, and then pulled the tank top over her head. She maneuvered it underneath the shirt she was wearing and pulled her arms through the spaghetti straps, and then pulled Sasuke’s shirt off and added it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor beside her desk. 

Sakura changed her underwear in the bathroom that connected hers and Hinata’s room to Temari and Karin’s. She slid into her favorite pair of jeans, but before she’d gotten them buttoned she’d heard Ino call her name. “Yeah?” Sakura turned before she realized that her pants were open. She looked at her fingernails, fidgeted with her hair, anything to act natural and not touch the buttons and zipper of her pants. “Oh, I was just going to ask you about your roommate.”

Sakura’s tense body relaxed. “Oh, Hinata?” She buttoned and zipped her pants as she spoke. “She’s sweet. Well, sometimes. Sometimes, she’s just an evil wench. She picked out my outfit last night, so.” Sakura adjusted her tank top, pulled one of her straps up, and hooked her fingers into the belt loops of her pants to hike them up good one more time. “She’s into psychology, that’s her major. She’s always telling me why I feel something. It’s interesting at first, but then it just gets annoying.”

Ino nodded, tapping her fingers against her leg. She had moved up so that her legs were hanging off the bed. Sakura had heard her shuffling behind her back. She had also put her shoes back on, big black boots that reached up to her thighs and had a chunky heel. Sakura slid into some sneakers and huffed a breath. She hadn’t combed her hair, she realized. Sakura stole some of Hinata’s hair clips and went back into the bathroom to finish fixing herself up. 

She was just about to close the door when she felt it catch on something. She looked, saw Ino’s fingers in the space between the door and its frame. “I hope you don’t mind, I just don’t want to be seen looking… like this, even for five minutes.” Ino gestured to her body from the neck up. The glitter, the makeup. Sakura froze where she was, dropping her hand from the doorknob as though it had burned her. “Oh, um, ok. There’s rags and stuff in the cabinets at the bottom.” Ino smiled. “Thanks.”

Sakura made space for Ino, in case she needed the sink or something. She stood on one side of the bathroom, and Ino stood on the other. They were both looking at themselves in the wall-width mirror. Sakura caught sight of Ino’s hair coming out of the buns. She was distracted from brushing her hair into a ponytail, so that her arms were all up in an awkward position. “Do you have any scrunches I can borrow? I don’t know if you’ll ever get it back,” Ino said with a small giggle. So cute. Sakura’s eyes scanned the cluttered counter. She removed her hands from her hair, not caring if she’d have to start her ponytail over, and picked up a scrunchie that was clearly Karin’s. “This one,” she said as she offered it to Ino. 

Ino accepted it and placed her singular earring on the counter. She used her hands to craft another bun, just one this time, and left some of her bangs out on one side. Sakura just watched, transfixed, until Ino dropped her arms and made a triumphant sound. Sakura noticed Ino’s tiny little tattoos, littering her fingers and arms. She didn’t know how she hadn’t noticed the night before, there were so many of them. “Does it look too bad?” Sakura shook her head fast, too fast, immediately. “No, it looks good.” She looked back at herself in the mirror, her hair at her shoulders. Sakura hummed and decided a headband would be enough, after all. 

She almost missed Ino sliding the wet rag across her chest, into the space between her breasts. Almost, but she was never that lucky. Ino had already wiped her face clean, so that she looked even more pale than usual, and then had started on her chest. Sakura felt herself deflating, or something. All of the air in her body was just escaping, until she thought she might crumple up in a ball of defeat. Sakura tore her eyes from Ino’s skin to pull the headband into her hair, and look at only herself. Only at herself brushing her teeth, not the girl standing next to her, digging deep into her four inch shirt to get all the glitter off. No, nope. 

Ino sighed when she was finished. “What should I do with this?” she asked, brandishing the now used rag. “Oh, give it here. I have to wash things anyways.” Sakura passed by Ino on her way out of the bathroom, and she placed the rag gently on top of the pile. “Ready?” Sakura called. She waited. 

It took Ino a few minutes, and then she exited the bathroom. Still so mystifying, even with a bare face and no glitter. “Good thing it’s hot out there. I’m not wearing anything under this,” Ino said with a laugh. Sakura felt her face getting a little white as she faced the door to lock it. She was in for it. 

***

There they sat, with some of Sakura’s most recent data spread out between them. The sun was beaming down on Sakura’s arm, so hot that she knew she would have a tan within a week of walking around campus. Ino had chosen to wear a tank top, too, a green one. The hue reminded Sakura of grass, the kind that was nice to lay in, that had wildflowers dotting it, in the dead center of a dense forest or something. A secret place. 

Sakura was fiddling with one of her many folders. Ino had asked her to bring her stuff with her, so they’d had to backtrack before making it to her room. “Sorry about the mess, it’ll only be a second,” Ino had said apologetically. Sakura shook her head, told Ino it was no problem, and then leaned against the wall next to the door clutching her notebook to her chest. She was so, so fucked. Sakura facepalmed and then dragged her hand down her face, and she’d jumped when Ino had thrown the door open again. “Ok! I’m ready now.” Ino’s green tank top was paired with ripped jeans and sneakers, just like Sakura. Ino’s body filled her clothes better, though. Her skin pulled on Sakura’s eyes like a magnet. She definitely wasn’t wearing a bra, but that was nothing new. She smelled fresh, like a shower. Her hair wasn’t wet, though, so Sakura assumed that was just the way she smelled.

They made amiable conversation as they’d walked to the coffee shop. Sakura had told Ino about Hinata and Kiba, and Sasuke and Naruto. Ino told Sakura that she and Shikamaru were actually really good friends. They had another friend that completed their trifecta, someone Sakura had never met or heard of. 

“Akimichi Chouji?” 

“I’m not surprised you’ve never heard of him,” Ino said with a shrug. “All he ever does is eat. He’s Shikamaru’s roommate, though.” Sakura clicked her tongue. “Oh! No wonder there’s always food wrappers everywhere. I knew it couldn’t be Shikamaru, he’s annoyingly tidy. Whenever I visit Temari and he’s over there, he’s always cleaning up her stuff. Doing her laundry, making her bed, putting her shoes in rainbow order.”

Ino laughed and gave a small nod. “Shikamaru and Chouji are, like, complete opposites.” She placed her coffee down then (a fucking _ americano _ that she’d paid to have three shots of caramel added to) and leaned over the table to look more intently at Sakura’s work. “This is all really cool. How long have you been working with her?” 

Sakura shrugged. “Since the second semester of freshman year.” Telling other people, it didn’t seem all that special. But, Ino was paying such rapt attention to her every word, and when she revealed this fact Ino’s eyebrows shot for her hairline. “What? You’ve been working with her for three years. That’s… that’s crazy. You aren’t sick of her yet?”

Sakura shook her head quickly. “Oh, no, no! It’s more like, how isn’t she sick of me yet? I’m really obsessive about this kind of stuff, I always want to work on it, to finish it up. She’ll probably pass it on to some other students when I graduate. That is, if I don’t just stay on. I don’t know if I will.” Ino sat back after tracing her fingers over a diagram of the reproductive system of a chrysanthemum. “How did you get her to, like, let you on?”

“Oh.” Sakura touched her lips. “It’s kind of embarrassing, really. I just kept bugging her. She was my lab instructor for Bio 2. I brought it up to her, really. I just kept noticing, like, the flowers were getting demolished by something, every time they tried to bloom. My mom went here, so I’ve seen it happen for years. Every spring, there would be these beautiful, wonderful formations, colors, groups, intermediate phenotypes, and codominant phenotypes too, all kinds of crazy, gorgeous flowers. And they’d be here for a week and a half, two weeks. Then, all of a sudden, my mom would bring me up here and they’d be destroyed. I knew it couldn’t be the bees, I just didn’t know what it _ could _be.” Sakura looked up from her pictures to see Ino’s eyes on her, nearly looking through her. Sakura glued her eyes back to the words on the paper.

“Uh, so I was always bugging her, just to get to know about her, really. And then, I found out that she was studying the flowers! After lab, we would always talk about stuff, and she told me one time she had to leave to collect some data. I kept bugging her about it, and told her about how obsessed with it I was. She promised that once she got her graduate, she’d let me on. And she did! So, the rest is history.” Sakura took a long sip from her strawberry green tea. 

Ino scratched her chin. “That’s really cool, Sakura. You two, your team or whatever, you guys have done a lot to help those flowers. Now it looks really good.” Sakura supposed that was the best compliment she could hope for from Ino. “Thanks. Now, tell me about all your tattoos? I see you have plenty of them.”

Ino chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, I do. Most of them don’t mean anything, I just have them because I thought they’d be cute, make me cuter. There are two that are really important to me, though.” Ino pointed at the inside of her arm. It was a pig. “My dad always used to call me piggy but, like, in a cute way. He would oink at me, it was funny. He has one, too. It reminds me of him.” Ino then curled her fingers around her tank top and pulled it down, so that she was, let’s say… two inches away from her nipple. It was some weird symbol, one that Sakura didn’t understand, but she thought vaguely that she’d seen it before. “This one I match with Shikamaru and Chouji. We’ve been best friends for years, like, our whole lives. As soon as we were old enough, we went and got these. We made it up,” Ino said, and then she released her shirt. 

“Do you have any tattoos?” 

Sakura shook her head. “No. Needles scare me.”

Ino laughed and then glanced at her wrist, where a very expensive watch was sitting. “Oh, shit.” Sakura’s eyebrows knitted together. “What?”

“I gotta go,” Ino said simply. She gathered her things, and she was halfway out the door before she ran back to a very dumbfounded Sakura. “I forgot. I wanted to give you this, since I know you wanted it. I really only took it because—here.” Ino slid the flower book across the table, slightly rumpling Sakura’s work, but she hardly minded. 

“Oh, th-thanks,” Sakura said. She picked up the book, and when she looked up again, Ino was gone. Sakura opened the book to where Ino’s place was marked. But the slip of paper fell out, and there was a number on it. 

_ In case you need my help again. Or whatever. _

Sakura held the little scrap close to her heart. Maybe she wasn’t so in for it after all.

***

Sakura didn’t know what to do with herself. At first, she was working the same amount, going to the same amount of parties, dealing with the same amount of drama with her friend group. But she was also talking to Ino every day. Every single day. It was what Sakura woke up to, what she looked forward to throughout the day, and it was what Sakura went to sleep thinking about. She didn’t know how Ino felt about their passive texting, but it was everything to Sakura. 

Ino started coming over, too. Only when Shikamaru came to visit Temari, at first. Under that pretense. She was only coming because her friend was, why not? Shikamaru didn’t want to go alone. It wasn’t as though he had been dating Temari for, like, a year now. Sometimes, Temari still made him nervous (which wasn’t a complete lie, but it was when Ino said it). 

Somehow, Ino would always find her way sneaking across the rooms through the bathroom to sit with Sakura on her lofted bed, or at Sakura’s desk, or on Hinata’s bed when she wasn’t there. Somehow, though, it was always an accident. And somehow, it started turning into Ino coming over by herself, for Sakura. Always something like, “Will you show me your work?” or, Sakura’s favorite, “I was just passing by.” To Ino’s credit, Sakura was trying to see _ her _more, too. Every weekend, DJ Ino was hosting some new gig and every weekend, Sakura found herself up close to the DJ booth, getting crazy drunk with her friends, whoever could manage to come that night, and having real life fun. It had been a long time, she’d let herself get so bogged down with school, research. 

And… _ somehow _, Ino would sometimes end up climbing her way up onto Sakura’s bed, where Sakura would be waiting for her, her legs already spread, already so wet with anticipation. Two kisses, maybe three. Sakura had always been such a sucker for kissing, and Ino was sloppy. That was only ever when Hinata was gone, until they stopped caring. Then, Ino would only be polite enough to wait until Hinata was asleep before sliding her hand between Sakura’s knees. Sakura went to Ino’s room, too, and Ino didn’t have a roommate, because she’d moved out. Those were good nights. They’d get drunk, and Sakura would try on Ino’s clothes, give her a fashion show, and she’d end up falling onto Ino’s lap on the bed. Or, sometimes, they’d read a book, in the light of the lamp. Other times, they’d watch movies, or eat snacks and gossip. They went on dates, and they had serious and deep conversations. Ino revealed the situation between herself and her mother (Which was bad. Sakura had cried when Ino had finished telling the story. “She’s just, like… given up on us, my dad and me,” Ino had said, after pulling some shorts on to sleep in. She handed Sakura a pair that she’d left over there for these occasions. Sakura gave a confused sound. “Given up? Why?”

Ino shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve always been smart, you know, smart enough to skate by in school and be pretty close to the top of the class. But, I never did anything else. I mean, I was a cheerleader, which was interesting, I guess. Never enough to make her really proud of me. But then, my mom found out I was sort of into one of the girls on the team, and she really didn’t like it. I guess that’s why. Silly me.” Ino shook her head at herself. Sakura chewed her fingernails. “So, she, she wasn’t ok with that?” Her voice was muffled because she had a hand in her mouth. Ino shrugged again. “I should have seen it then. She always asked me closely, if there were boys I liked, if I was talking to a boy, kissing boys, dating boys, fucking boys. And I’d just tell her, no, none of them are interesting me. Not in that way, anyway. And she’d tell me, ‘Alright, you’ll grow out of that.’ But I never did. She got increasingly more interested in knowing if I was dating, and then, when prom happened, I wanted to take a girl. As a friend, I thought. I didn’t see it about myself, isn’t that funny? I liked her, I know it now. But, anyway, I told her I wanted to go with the girl. I told her as a friend and everything, but she knew better than even I did. She told my dad, I heard them yelling about it. ‘She can’t go with that girl,’ my mom had said, and my dad didn’t understand at all. He was getting angry at her, asking her what the fuck her problem was. ‘Why don’t you want her to be happy? She wants to have a good night.’ he’d said. My mom just wasn’t having it. I was grounded, for the rest of my senior year. For liking the girl. Hm.” Ino was humming to keep herself from crying, Sakura knew.

Sakura hadn’t meant to cry, and maybe she wouldn’t have, if Ino had just left it at that. “It hurt, a little. Mm, maybe a lot. She didn’t love me as much, because I liked the girl. I can’t… help that, I don’t know. I hadn’t done anything to her, but she stopped letting me do things. She didn’t make me stop cheering, but she started treating me differently. Talked to me less, paid much less attention to me. My dad was taking over for her, asking me about my day and about myself in ways he hadn’t really been doing before. He checked on me, tried to help me with my homework. He even snuck me out to do fun things some nights, like bowl or go to the movies. Mom was always pissed, but I was his daughter, too, he’d say.” Ino fell silent then, and played with her fingers in her lap. Sakura forced herself to stop crying, and then she’d kissed Ino hard until they’d fallen back on the bed in a heap).

Sakura, in turn, told Ino about her insecurities and how she had always thought she’d never be good enough. “You’re good enough for me,” Ino had whispered into Sakura’s hair, as Sakura was lying against Ino’s chest, twisting her finger around a loose thread hanging out of Ino’s orange sweater. No, she didn’t cry, either. Not one bit.

Sakura didn’t know what to do with herself. This girl she’d met, suddenly becoming her best friend, and her _ lover, _in such a short time; it felt strange, but it felt right. She hadn’t wanted anything from Ino but a glance, but what she got was so much more, so much better. They were inseparable. Always together. When they weren’t together, they were talking, texting. When she wasn’t with Ino, Sakura was thinking about Ino. They got a matching tattoo, Sakura’s first, of the chrysanthemum. Sakura had squeezed Ino’s hand so hard that she heard Ino’s joints pop. Ino had gotten hers colored in pink, and Sakura had gotten hers blue. 

And of course, there were some nights when Ino wouldn’t come over, and Sakura did everything to distract herself from where she knew Ino was. Of course, there would be things Ino did that Sakura wasn’t a part of, they weren’t together, and Ino didn’t really owe Sakura anything. Not on paper, anyways. But Sakura still dreaded to watch Ino’s social media accounts play out her nights; she’d tell Sakura she was going to turn in early, and then Sakura would find the footage of Ino dancing, drinking… not being asleep, for sure. And some nights, Sakura would see that Ino was hanging a little too close to some girl. Sakura had never seen or met them, but Ino’s drunk heart eyes would always make Sakura want to punch something. Then, suddenly, Ino’s profile would be dead until the next morning. And no sign of the girl, either. Sakura would grumble in frustration, anger, devastation, and then force herself to read a book or something so that she wouldn’t do something stupid. It was just the fact that Ino was lying, lying and saying she was going to _ bed _, and then she’d pop up at Sakura’s door at unholy hours with new hickeys on her neck and fingerprints on her skin and a different smell that curled into Sakura’s nose; it was like getting gut punched. Either Ino thought Sakura was dumb enough to not notice, or she didn’t care if Sakura noticed. Either way, Sakura hated herself for putting up with it. But then, Ino would come back, and they’d spend a whole week and a half together, just the two of them in Ino’s room, and Sakura would remind herself of why she had even allowed herself to feel this way to begin with. What was the hardest thing?

Feeling it grow every day, and having it be nurtured for a week, and then stomped on like a pest. What was ‘it’? Sakura didn’t want to admit that much to herself.

Her friends had everything to say. Naruto was supportive, but maybe that was because he was so… dumb. Sasuke said he had a feeling, a bad feeling, that something was going to come along and pop their bubble, so that they’d be exposed to reality again. He also pointed out that Ino was most definitely still sleeping with other people, he’d seen her leaving three gigs that week with three different girls. Hinata thought it was all so sweet, but that was because Sakura only told her the good things. She didn’t need to deal with all that, because she and Kiba weren’t talking anymore (big surprise). Sakura didn’t have time to care about any of it, though. Ino made her happy. For months, it was just Ino and Sakura, Sakura and Ino. No one could tell them anything, they weren’t listening.

Then, winter break happened. 

Sakura hadn’t let herself think so far ahead, so she didn’t know what to expect. Every day, it presented itself more prominently in her mind. Nothing lasts forever but… surely this couldn’t be over yet?

They still texted like normal, up until the last day of classes. Sakura usually woke up to see a message from ‘Pig girl’ sent hours ago, because Ino was always up all night doing crazy girl things Sakura could never imagine doing, and Sakura would reply. But, on Friday, Sakura didn’t wake up to a message. It made her eyebrows furrow, but she told herself it was fine. Sometimes, she texted Ino first. 

However, she’d never had to double text. Sakura sent Ino a message at 6:47 am that day. When she looked again, it was 12:56. “What the fuck?” Sakura whispered to herself, told herself not to think the worst. She clutched her phone tight before shoving it through her bag. It didn’t matter, surely Ino would reach out.

Sakura went about her day, spending hours with Professor Tsunade to take her mind off of what was happening. They were coming upon a breakthrough, as they had ruled out all but two of the species of bugs they’d found in the courtyard as being the ones causing the damage. Sakura sighed for the fifteen hundredth time, and finally Tsunade couldn’t stand it. 

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve been moping around here for hours. It’s starting to annoy me.” Sakura looked up from the microscope she’d been viewing and pushed her chair away from the desk. “I have not,” she said, voice melancholy. Tsunade fixed Sakura with a knowing look and put a hand on her hip.

“Is it that girl?”

Sakura shook her head. “No, no, of course not.” Was she that easy to read? “Sakura.” She winced. She hated being hit with that tone of voice. “Ok, ok.”

Telling Tsunade what happened did admittedly make Sakura feel better. She realized that she wasn’t crazy for wondering what was happening, after talking to and seeing this girl every day. It wasn’t like they were together, or anything. They were friends; Sakura was sure that Ino would do the same thing, if she too had disappeared off the face of the Earth. 

“Well…” Tsunade removed her prepared slide of the cross section of one of the insect’s mandibles from the microscope she had been using. “I know that it might seem like the end of the world, but you have to remember: there’s no commitment between you guys. Sure, she should have said something, at least _ something _, but she’s not obligated. She can do what she wants. And so can you, Sakura.”

Sakura pursed her lips. Of course, she knew that. No one was making her worry about Ino, she was doing that on her own. Whatever. It didn’t matter. If Ino wanted to say something to her, she would. So, Sakura told herself, that was what it would be. They’d just be on a need to know basis. That was fine, Sakura was fine with that.

So, no, she did not reach out to Ino that day. In her mind, Sakura was bitter. Who knows who Ino _ was _giving her attention to. It was always the fucking same. To take her mind off of it, Sakura worked, and she drew, and she packed. Sakura had packed all of her things meticulously to go back home the night before, so she would be ready for the long drive. She spent time with Hinata, Temari, and Karin all together before hugging them goodbye and preparing herself to leave. 

She didn’t expect to see Ino there… and Ino wasn’t there. Sakura had left her phone, so when she got back into the room she went straight for it. A few stupid links from Naruto and apologizes from Sasuke in their group chat; Hinata had sent the pictures they’d taken that night in the other group chat; and… “Fifteen?”

Fifteen missed calls from Ino.

Sakura’s fingers had never pressed a button so fast. It rang, it rang, it rang—

“Sak’ra? Heyyy,” Ino slurred. The screen was black, but Sakura could still tell that Ino was outside. “Ino? What’s going on?” Ino’s face came into the camera, and Sakura almost audibly gasped. Ino’s face was washed out from the light of her phone. She had on green eyeshadow and black eyeliner, but it was all running down her face. Her lips were painted red by some lipstick, but it was all on the sides of her mouth. She looked _ messed up _. Sakura felt all the anger she’d been harboring toward Ino that day sliding away, like a handful of sand scattered carelessly into the ocean. 

“Oh, y’know, I’m just ou’ here, drinkin’. Get fucking lit! Tha’s what I’m doin’.” Sakura’s eyes were wide with panic. Her heart was beating so, so fast. This girl, this perfect woman, she was hurting herself, and why? Sakura didn’t know. She just needed to know that Ino was going to be ok. Her chest started to hurt. “Where are you? Ino, what are you doing, who’s with you?”

Ino giggled, and then she dropped her phone. “Oh, fuck. I, I was with Shikamaru and Chouji and Sai, but they’re gone. I am _ so _ high, Sakura.” Sakura was pulling her shoes onto her feet. “Tell me where you are,” Sakura said sternly. High off of _ what _? What the fuck was going on? “There’s this club, I don’t really know. Shikamaru drove here.”

“And they just left you?”

“No, I left them. They didn’t wanna do the coke with me, plus they’re not allowed in the girls’ bathroom. Which, I mean, tha’s a good thing, because no one wants to see their dicks.” Sakura slapped her forehead. She was fucked, she was fucked. Of course, she had to save Ino from herself, going home would have to wait. 

“Who else is with you?”

Ino looked about her. She was walking, more stumbling, along the sidewalk all alone. “No one, I walked outside. Trying to go ho-o-ome.” Sakura grit her teeth. Oh, damn it. “Ok. I’m gonna come take you home, can I do that?” Ino’s face came back into the camera. Sakura heard her sniff hard and saw her wipe almost violently at her nose. “Only if we can kiss,” Ino said, wiggling her eyebrows. Sakura rolled her eyes. 

***

Sakura hadn’t ever used anyone’s location before. She had her own shared with two people before college: her mother and father. Of course, she had everyone’s shared with her, because she was the friend that liked to see where her friends were at any given time. All except Sasuke, because he would never share it with anyone except Naruto. But Sakura hadn’t even asked Ino for her location, she’d just shared it with her one night. 

Every now and then, Ino would text her something to the effect of, ‘whatre you doing in the cafe at 11’ or ‘youve been “taking a nap” for 5 hours, get up’ and it was funny to Sakura, that Ino was keeping tabs on her like that. Now, Sakura felt that it was a matter of life and death that Ino had taken it upon herself to make sure Sakura knew where she was. 

Sakura had been walking at first, but speed walking, and then jogging, and by the time she was outside and on the streets she was running. She barely knew where. It was cold, but that hardly mattered. She’d definitely never been to this place. Sakura was running across the streets blindly, barely looking both ways before she went. She didn’t care, she didn’t care, she needed to find Ino. Sakura’s heart was going to break out of her chest. “Oh, please, oh, please,” she kept repeating to herself, hoping, praying that when she found Ino it wouldn’t be too late.

“Sa-ku-ra!” 

Sakura whipped her head around. “Ino?” But, no, it was a man's voice, Shikamaru. Sakura ran across the street, nearly tripping over the laces of her boots as she ran. He had Ino with him, and his face was ruddy, but he was nearly sobered up. “Where’s Chouji? And who the _ fuck _gave her coke?” Shikamaru threw a thumb behind his back. “He’s already in the car. I think that Shino kid had some. That’s where Kiba gets his, I don’t know.” Shikamaru grunted as he adjusted his hold on Ino’s body. His eyes looked so exhausted, like he’d been awake for hours. “She, um. She’s been asking about you, she keeps saying your name. Said she’s doing all this for you? I don’t know. I looked at her phone, I saw you guys hadn’t talked today. Dunno. I had to pull her away from Karin, though. Who… knows.” By the look on Sakura’s face, Shikamaru took the hint to stop himself before he said too much. Sakura didn’t want to hear it, not again. They both supported Ino on their shoulders, and when they got to Shikamaru’s car, Sakura saw Chouji sitting in the front seat. She first opened the door for herself, and then Shikamaru sort of unceremoniously shoved Ino into the back with Sakura. Sakura took Ino’s head onto her lap and stroked her damp hair. Her skin was so hot, so sweaty. Sakura wiped something white off of Ino’s face. 

The car ride was silent, save for the radio, and Ino screaming along to it every now and then. Sakura had shushed her at first, but then just let her scream. At least she was alive. When she wasn’t shrieking, Ino was touching Sakura’s face shakily. Her fingers traced around Sakura’s eyes, the bridge of Sakura’s nose, her lips. Her fingers slipped past Sakura’s lips and hit her teeth, and Sakura could taste salt on Ino’s fingertips. And maybe a little cocaine.

Shikamaru dropped Sakura and Ino off at Sakura’s room. Sakura thanked him a million times, and he got even more red faced and begged her not to mention it. It would ruin his image. Sakura’s hands fumbled over her keys, and she missed the lock three times before she finally shoved it in. Ino was slumped against her, making it all that much harder. She smelled of sweat, no perfume. Almost… _ cheap _. But Sakura didn’t let herself think so illogically. The smell of Ino wasn’t important at that moment. 

“Oh, where’s Dog Girl?”

Sakura ripped Ino’s shoes off of her and threw them over her shoulder across the room. She laid Ino across Hinata’s bed. “She’s gone home for the holidays.” Ino squealed. “Oh, yeah. Her bed smells nice. Like a puppy,” Ino said. She rolled over so that her face was in Hinata’s pillow, getting it all green and red from her makeup. “Shower, can I take a shower?” Sakura’s eyebrow jumped. “Right now?” Ino nodded and sat up fast. She pressed her hands to her forehead. “Ow, ow. Too fast, too-” 

“Oh!”

Ino bent over the edge of the bed and threw up on the floor. “Fuck,” Sakura murmured. Ino wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said. Sakura shook her head. “Don’t be, I’ll clean it up. Come here.”

Ino shoved herself off the bed, narrowly missing the puddle of her vomit, and fell onto Sakura. Sakura felt Ino’s arms envelope her, and she stood there for a moment, holding Ino, being held by Ino. She was warm, and sort of heavy, but her arms were squeezing Sakura so tight that she almost couldn’t breathe. Sakura felt Ino’s hot breath on her neck. It was nearly enough to make Sakura forget Shikamaru’s words, that she’d been on Karin just this very night. Of course, Ino hadn’t mentioned Karin… but it didn’t matter, when she could hold Ino close like this, close to her heart. 

When Ino pulled back, her eyes were on Sakura’s. The lights were off, so the only the light of the moon illuminated the room. Ino’s arms were looped around Sakura’s waist. Sakura’s arms were wrapped around Ino’s neck. So familiar. They’d done it a million times. Except, this was different. Sakura looked up at Ino. Ino looked down at Sakura. Ino’s lips curled into a smile. Sakura still wanted to kiss her, even when she knew she’d just vomited. 

“Go… take a shower.” Sakura’s voice was barely there. 

“Find. But you have to help.” Ino released Sakura then, and started to unzip her shirt jacket. It was a cute one, bright orange and brown around the edges, with a half zipper. Underneath, she was wearing only a bra. God. Sakura had to help Ino get her arms through the sleeves, and her fingers kept fumbling on her bra clasp, so Sakura had to help her with that, too.

Next came her pants. Tight, PVC black pants that her ass barely fit into. Sakura had to undo the button, but then Ino’s hands caught on hers, so Sakura let her undo the zipper on her own. “Mm.” Ino hummed deep in her throat. Sakura shivered. When Ino had stepped out of her pants and her underwear, her eyes were on Sakura’s again. They’d seen one another in this condition, _ naked _, but this was a whole lot fucking heavier. 

Ino was watching Sakura, and she didn’t have to say it. Sakura’s fingers were already undoing her clasps and zippers, freeing herself from the confines of her clothes. Sakura didn’t let herself stand there awkwardly for too long. She slunk off into the bathroom, and she heard Ino’s footsteps stomping behind her. 

Sakura made sure that the shower water was so hot that it would burn. Maybe that would wake them both up. What the fuck were they doing? It wasn’t like they—no, no, fuck that. Sakura stepped into the shower first. She felt Ino’s front pressing against the back of her. Ino’s arms wrapped around Sakura’s waist again, though this time her hands were sliding down, down, down. Sakura’s knees shook terrible as Ino’s fingers rubbed a slow circle over her clit. Her skin was already red from the heat of the water, but she was still blushing. Sakura bit her lip, and gave Ino permission to nudge her legs open with her knee. Ino’s lips pressed to Sakura’s throat, and her teeth were already coming out against Sakura’s skin. Sakura groaned and whimpered an “Oh, fuck.” Ino’s fingers were sliding inside her, two this time. Ino’s other hand was massaging Sakura’s breasts, one at a time, frantically, like she’d never get to do it again. 

Sakura felt herself melting against Ino, could feel Ino’s hard nipples against her shoulder blades. Ino’s teeth on her neck made Sakura moan and grunt, until even eventually Sakura couldn’t take it anymore. That, and the fact that Sakura was letting her mind wander over the past, over what Ino had told her about herself. The parts where she slept with other girls just to clear her mind. “Ino, wa-sh your h-hair,” Sakura said breathily. At first, she thought Ino hadn’t heard her, but then Ino released her, and Sakura turned to face her. The water was beating down on Sakura’s back. Ino hmphed and turned her nose up. “Fine.” 

Sakura watched with soft eyes as Ino used her shampoo to wash her hair. They’d had to switch places, so Sakura’s back was against the wall. She pursed her lips as she watched Ino bathe herself, and pointedly ignore Sakura, except to say she was sorry for stepping on Sakura’s foot.

“I’m done now,” Ino said childishly. She stepped out of the shower without waiting for the water to be shut off. Sakura watched her root through the cabinets, dripping wet, for a towel. She turned off the water and waited. 

When they fell onto Hinata’s bed, they were still naked, but clean. Sakura had cleaned up the vomit, and now they were huddled underneath Hinata’s covers. Just like the first night, but less clothes. Sakura promised herself once again to wash Hinata’s sheets and shit. 

Ino’s hands were threading through Sakura’s wet hair, and she fisted the hair at the back of Sakura’s neck. “I’m sorry, Sakura,” Ino whispered. Sakura had made her brush her teeth. Sakura’s arms were around Ino’s waist, this time. She looked away from Ino’s eyes, she couldn’t stand the intensity, the fire. 

“Sorry for… what?” Sakura sighed. Their legs were tangled up, so close together. Every breath Ino breathed out, Sakura took in. “For not telling you before.”

Sakura chalked it all up to Ino being high. “That you didn’t tell me you were going out? It’s ok. You’re a grown up.”

Ino shook her head, and then squeezed her eyes shut. “No, no. Not that. Not that.” Sakura watched apprehension cross Ino’s face briefly. “D’you remember when I told you about my mom? How she hates me for being gay? I don’t know why, but I still want to impress her, I still want her to love me. It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t matter if she doesn’t want to help me, but it does matter. So when I… ok, I skipped a part. I love you, Sakura, I am in love with you. And I know I’ve been fucking around with you and your feelings, I know that you deserve better than me but I guess I just wanted to tell you… that.” Ino’s voice was small, and her eyes were closed, and her hair was wet, but there was a conviction in her voice that Sakura couldn’t deny. Ino meant this. No matter what cocaine she’d snorted, or how much vodka she had downed, or what other girls she had kissed tonight, in this moment, Ino knew exactly where she was. 

Sakura bit her lip to keep from sobbing, or screaming. “You, you’re what?”

“I love you, flower girl. All your lameness, the flowers and the bugs and the way you care about me and the way you’ve invited me to do things with your friends, and you listen to me, and you take care of me, and I don’t know where I’d be without you. I was just trying to convince myself that I was wrong. Like, ok. I’d been friends with girls like this before. But then, it started getting serious. I told my dad about you, he wants to meet you. I told him how happy you make me, how much you mean to me. He’s so excited. But, but anyways. My mom, I just want her to like me, so I was trying to convince myself I was wrong. That I don’t love you. I wanted to see if I could just, uh, make myself forget about it?” Ino’s eyes fluttered open and she caught Sakura’s gaze. “But I can’t, I can’t forget about the way I feel about you. I don’t want to. You’re it, you’re it for me. I’ve never told anyone… 1/16 of the stuff I’ve told you. It’s a secret, I keep myself a secret. But I want you to unlock me, to have the keys to my soul. And I wanna kiss you forever. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry for lying to you, for treating you like— a joke, or something. You mean so much to me. I can’t help myself.”

Sakura’s eyes were so full of tears that she couldn’t see Ino. Right now, Ino’s past didn’t matter, because it was the past now, right? “Ugh, fuck you, pig girl. I love you, too.”

***

They were still “just friends,” when they woke up, which Sakura sort of really hated, but she told herself that Ino would come around. That’s how it felt, when they’d fall into bed together, or when they’d pass out on the phone after a long night of talking. That’s how it felt, when Ino would whisper her sweet things and thread her fingers into her hair, and kiss the corner of her mouth. Ino was just trying to figure herself out. That was all Sakura needed to tell herself for the bad feelings to dissolve away. 

But, this wasn’t something that couldn’t be explained away, and Sakura knew it, making excuses for Ino would only make her heart break more harsh when it finally happened.

Sakura had assumed that, since they were, you know, _ in love _, that Ino didn’t feel like she had to sleep with other girls to clear her mind or make her forget about her mom, or the fact that she had no life plan and they were set to graduate in less than a year. Sakura had convinced herself, with Ino’s reassurance, that she was enough for Ino. Ino told her every night that she was enough. And, ok, they weren’t together, just saying the words and doing the things and feeling the feelings. Not together, though. Ino wasn’t ready for that quite yet. Something about her mom.

Sakura had stayed with Ino as long as she could that day, had hung off her every word. Ino knew it. They were in Ino’s room, when Ino started talking about her plans for the break.

“Wait, so, you’ll come with me?” Sakura interrupted Ino’s lengthy rambling tangent.

Sakura had decided that one more night here with Ino wouldn’t hurt. And that turned into two nights, which turned into a week. She hadn’t even told her parents she was coming home, so it would still be a wonderful surprise. Waking up next to Ino was an indescribable feeling. Maybe it was the chill in the air, or maybe it was the fact that they were naked and practically the only ones on campus, but something about it held a magic that Sakura wasn’t used to. She simply, to put it stupidly, had never felt this way before. And, ok, she’d said those words before, but this time they were true. No one could evoke these feelings in her, no one before Ino. And Ino was all hers now, no more other girls.

“Go where again?” Ino yawned. She looked so serene, with her eyes closed, even though Sakura knew that there were things going on in Ino’s mind that she’d never understand. Sakura could watch her all day, would try to spend the rest of her life trying to figure Ino out, if she’d let her. 

“Home, with me. To spend the holidays.”

Ino’s eyes shot open. “Like, to meet your parents? Oh, geez, Sakura, I don’t know,” Ino said, scratching the back of her neck. Sakura felt a wave of anxiety wash over her. “I mean, I’d love to spend the time with you, you know. It’s just, the whole parents thing isn’t really my thing.” Sakura felt Ino’s fingers thread into her hair. 

“They, um.” Sakura was trying to find a way to put it where Ino wouldn’t get offended. “They don’t care, they’re not like your mom.” She winced a little as Ino’s hand and warm touch retreated from her skin. 

“I see.” 

Sakura felt the bed dip, and she felt like someone was pulling a string off her favorite sweater as Ino stood and walked away. She was the sweater, Ino pulled the string; but the sweater was really Sakura’s heart. Ino didn’t go far, just to her closet, but Sakura knew that she was meaning to leave. Sakura sat up fast, letting the comforter fall so that her body was exposed to the air. She didn’t care, it didn’t matter. Least of her worries. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Sakura said. It was silly, stupid, to apologize to Ino when she was the one who was running away, again, instead of talking. She watched as Ino rifled through her clothes. She clipped on a bra and stepped into some faded jeans. She didn’t look at Sakura as she spoke. “I’m sure you’re sorry. I asked you not to talk about her.” She slid her arms through the sleeves of a navy blue, long sleeved Konoha t-shirt. Last were her Vans, and then she stood straight and tall and dusted herself off. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, anyways. I’m going home, to my dad.”

And Sakura knew, she _ knew _better than to talk about Ino’s mom, because the situation was only getting worse, and it was technically because of Sakura. Ino had told her dad about Sakura, and her mom had overheard, of course, why would he hide the fact that he was talking to Ino? But her mom was so livid, angry with both of them; with Ino for reasons Sakura already knew; and at her dad for supporting her and not “setting her straight.” Ironic, but not funny. Sakura knew that, she knew that Ino’s mom had threatened to leave them both if Ino didn’t “get her act together,” and Sakura knew that Ino’s dad had replied that if she didn’t want to love them both for who they were (Ino for being gay and her dad for accepting this), then he couldn’t love her either, and he didn’t want her there. Sakura knew how hard it had hit Ino, that her mom just wouldn’t even attempt to understand or accept her. She knew because she’d been there when Ino cried about it, and she’d held Ino and promised that no matter what anyone said, they were going to be fine, and she saved her from being out in the cold again, high on whatever and drunk out of her mind. 

Stupid, stupid. Sakura could practically hear her heart cracking open, as Ino’s words cut like knives. “Uh… really?” Sakura touched her fingers to her lips, to stop them both from shaking. Ino nodded and reached behind her back to tie her hair up into a low hanging ponytail. “Yeah. He really misses me, I never go home for winter. And I think… I think he might be alone, this time.” Ino glanced around the room before her eyes fell back onto Sakura, with no mercy, just cold. “So, I’m leaving tonight.”

Sakura’s eyebrows quirked. “Just like that? Were you even going to tell me?” Ino shrugged and slid her thumbs into her belt loops to pull up and better adjust her pants. “Yeah, I was. Later. But, I’m telling you now.” Her voice was so icy, and so short. Sakura had only heard Ino talk like this to other people. This wrath had never been directed at her. It was _ hot _wrath, despite how chilly Ino’s voice was. 

“Ah, ok. I guess— I’m gonna go back to my room.”

Ino shrugged again, and she’d already started grabbing her keys. Sakura thought that Ino was bluffing, since none of her stuff was packed up. Still, she didn’t want to mention it and make this worse. Ino shuffled into the bathroom to put her earrings and rings on. When she was finished, she stood in the doorway watching Sakura get dressed in the clothes she’d worn the night before. 

Sakura fumbled with the buttons on her white shirt and left the first two open so that the middle of her bright red bra showed. She nearly left with her pants unzipped in her distraction, but there was a draft as she walked, so she noticed and fixed it. She didn’t know if Ino was really trying to kick her out of here but, to be fair, she hadn’t protested when Sakura said she’d leave. Anyway, Sakura needed to escape this tension. 

When Sakura was finally finished getting dressed, she made no qualms and went to head straight out the door. She was rushing, but then Ino texted her ‘ill think about it’ and Sakura’s heart did not flip, no. Ino might be upset with her, but she’d forgiven her. _ Ino _ had forgiven _ Sakura. _But this wasn’t new.

***

Sakura had, too, decided to go home for the holidays. She was glad that she hadn’t tried to call Ino’s bluff, because she was serious. When she’d went back over the next morning to retrieve a bracelet she’d left, the door was locked, and Sakura’s shoulders slumped as she brought her hand back to her side.

Their communication was sporadic, but Sakura just chalked it up to Ino driving, and spending time with her dad. By the time Sakura got home, she and Ino were exactly 364.57 miles apart. It was satisfying, at least, to be able to see and know where Ino was. Sakura made herself refrain from looking at it, though, because this was about being with her family. It was her last winter break as an undergrad, and apparently that meant something. Sakura’s mom took her out the first night she had gotten back home. Her aunt had let her take a few sips of a very dark brown drink, so she had a pleasantly warm buzz going when Ino had called her.

Sakura’s buzz flew away from her mind when she saw Ino’s call, her stupor gone instantly. She had been thinking, allowing herself to mull over what she and Ino were doing. Still, no commitment, just the admission of feelings that they couldn’t take back. And Sakura had been allowing herself to get angry at Ino. How could she love her like she said, and still not put anything on their relationship? Ok, she was defying her mother to even have these feelings for Sakura, but… so? They weren’t even friends right now. Sakura also hated Ino for being the one to run away from her problems, from their problems, from her feelings. It meant that Sakura was the one who had to pick up the pieces of broken Ino, and put them back together with whatever glue she had at that moment. May it be telling Ino she loved her, or assuring her that not knowing what she wanted to do with her life yet was fine, or simply giving Ino something she_ needed _bodily, Sakura was always there. And that was just it. Ino was… no. Couldn’t be using her? They were only ever on bad terms when Ino had a problem. When Sakura felt something wasn’t right, she never said it, because fighting with Ino wasn’t what she wanted to do. And when Ino was upset, she’d run away, or get drunk, or get high. Or sleep with someone else.

But then, she called Sakura, and whispered the words. She was crying. “She’s—gone, Sakura.” Sakura was weak, a _ fool _. 

“What? You mean… your mom?” Sakura noticed that Ino had opted for a voice call this time instead of face to face. By the sound of her voice, she could tell why. Ino was sobbing uncontrollably, and Sakura heard a man’s voice telling her that it would be ok. There was a shifting, and a thud where Ino placed her phone down on something to that effect. “I-I just g-got here, he didn’t t-tell me because he didn’t w-want me to be upset on my way back, but she’s g-gone Sakura, she l-left.” Ino was a wreck, Sakura didn’t have to see to know it. She was itching to wrap her arms around Ino and kiss her tears away, make her feel whole again. She knew a big part of Ino had been crushed, a part of herself that she didn’t even want to admit existed. Any passerby, any stranger could ask her how she felt about her mother, and the answer was simple. “I hate her,” or “We have no relationship.” But that wasn’t real. It takes a whole lot to hate your mom, and Sakura knew that despite what she said, Ino still wasn’t there yet. Well, she hadn’t been before tonight.

And Sakura told herself she’d been selfish to let herself be mad at Ino. She was just neurotic, didn’t know _ how _she felt at any given time. Ino was doing her best, but she was lost, and she had nothing to anchor herself down to. She barely had any interests besides flowers and DJing. Sakura balled her hand into a fist as she listened to Ino cry. What could she say? She felt sorry, and so bad, and her heart hurt, her whole body hurt with anguish and need, the need to make Ino feel ok again.

“You have your dad, right? And, and he loves you, he loves you so much that he’ll never leave you, never ever. He loves you, lean on him.” Because I’m not there, Sakura had wanted to say, but that seemed a bit much. This wasn’t really about her, it was about Ino’s heart. “Y-yeah, yes. See, Dad, she always knows what to say,” Ino said. Sakura’s face grew red in the dark of her room. Her dad was listening?

“I didn’t want to bother you, I just didn’t know who else I could call.” Ino’s voice broke in the middle of the sentence.

“You’re not bothering me, Ino.” Sakura was selfish, because she was glad that at least Ino only had her dad, and there weren’t other girls around for her to fuck to get her mind off of this. Oh, Sakura felt sick.

Sniffling; another thud. “You’re just saying that.” Ino’s voice was a lot clearer this time. “I think I should let you rest, you just got back, right?” 

“Yeah.” A pause. Sakura twisted the phone’s wire around her index finger.

“Thank you, for caring about my daughter.” Sakura audibly gasped to hear Ino’s dad’s voice. She was at a loss for words. “Oh, yes, I—it’s my pleasure.” My pleasure? Sakura slapped her hand to her forehead. Ino’s dad thought it was all pretty funny. 

“You get some sleep, now, Sakura. Ino’s telling me she has a surprise for you, for tomorrow.”

That was confusing, but Sakura had exhausted herself just from listening to Ino, and she had gotten back home late after driving all day and spending the whole night out. So, Sakura didn’t let herself think about it. Sleep came easy. 

Sakura woke up from her restless sleep to the sound of a knocking on her bedroom door. “Sakura? Are you awake in there?” Sakura’s eyes blinked open slowly. It was her mother on the other side of the door. Sakura twisted her head to look at the time displayed on the clock on her night stand. It was 8:32 in the morning. Sakura turned over again, opened her phone to check her notifications, and Ino’s location, as always. 

0.1 miles? 

“Sakura?” 

“Oh, yeah, mom, I’m awake.”

The door opened just a crack. Sakura saw her mother peek her head in. “I know it’s plenty early,” she said. She looked so tired, her hair tied into something akin to a knot on top of her head, just like Sakura’s was. “Well, what is it?” Sakura heard her dad’s voice then. “There’s someone here to see you, a pretty young lady.” Sakura bolted upright. 

“Does she have blonde hair? Is she wearing purple?” 

Her parents looked between one another and then nodded in Sakura’s direction. “Yes, how did you know? Did you invite her?”

Sakura shook her head fast but offered no other answer to her parents. She flew from underneath her covers and launched herself at her drawers to find some pants. She looked over her shoulder at her parents’ worried faces. “Uh, tell her I’ll be right there,” she said quickly, and then shooed them away. What the fuck was Ino doing, here, in her house? How did she get here, _ why _did she get here? Sakura felt crazy, insane, as she stepped into a pink gingham pair of pajama pants, her favorite. They were the same color as her hair. Sakura turned then, to view herself in the mirror. Hair, a mess. Eyes, with bags under them. Face, overall exhausted. She felt fatigued, but the thought of Ino coming all the way here made something in her feel tumbley and alive.

Sakura felt so silly as she almost slipped down the stairs. She’d never been this clumsy before meeting Ino. Planetary, celestial, ethereal Ino, in her living room, wearing pajamas and with her hair down. She looked up fast when Sakura’s feet on the stairs roused her attention. Sakura’s parents were off in other parts of the house by now; her father was making coffee, and her mother was probably outside looking after her their dog. Ino’s eyes were so soft, like a cloud, or velvet, or some other expensive-but-soft thing. Sakura felt hot, the white heat of Ino’s spotlight eyes were making her blood boil up to the surface of her skin. 

“What’re you… doing here?”

Sakura didn’t mean for her voice to sound so confrontational, but Ino didn’t seem to mind. She shrugged, and then lounged into the arm of the sofa. She looked like she belonged there, like she’d always been doing this, putting her feet up on Sakura’s parents’ favorite couch. Like she’d always been with Sakura. Sakura sighed inwardly at herself.

She was standing before Ino when she finally got an answer. “I just realized… something.” Ino was _ nervous _, so rare. Sakura didn’t remember the last time she’d seen it. Ino was so confident, even when she knew she was wrong, or when she was saying things she didn’t want to say, or when she knew she was about to hurt someone’s feelings. Why was she nervous, now? How many moments did they have to have like this before either of them realized that they were going in circles? Well, Sakura realized it just then. But she still let Ino talk.

“Uh, this is hard to say. Because it feels, mm, dramatic.” Ino was stalling. Sakura stood before her still, with her arms crossed over her chest. “You know that I… have said before, that I love you. And I mean that,” Ino looked up from her lap then, sought reassurance from Sakura’s eyes. She didn’t get it. Her eyes cut back down to her wiggling fingers against her thighs. 

“I, wanna say sorry first. First, for all of the times I lied to you, and went and did stuff with other girls. I’m sorry for doing stuff with other girls after telling you I love you. There’s no reason for it, and I know it did nothing but hurt you.” After? She slept with girls after she said it? What, what the fuck? Sakura’s skin burned, and she dug her fingernails into her skin. No. No. She should have told Ino to leave, get the fuck out, never speak to her again. Where did she even have time for that shit? Sakura scoffed as Ino continued. 

“Second, for storming out of the room when you started talking about my mom. I can’t be mad at you for the way she is. She’s—ugh. It isn’t your fault, and I know you think it is, because you’re the one I’m choosing over her. And I am, I am choosing you over her, because it’s choosing _ me _over her.” 

Sakura felt her throat getting tighter in spite of how she was steeling herself. Oh, fuck. She sniffed and looked up towards the ceiling, like maybe that’d make her feelings drain from her eyes, back down her throat, and into her heart where they belonged. Underneath her crossed arms, Sakura thought her chest was being pinched so hard it’d burst, and she was scratching herself so hard she thought she’d draw blood. “Don’t say sorry to me, Ino, I shouldn’t have said anything about her. It’s, it’s the one thing you’ve told me that I know is guaranteed to make you upset, and I still just said it. I am the one who’s sorry.” Her tone was even, the opposite of the tumult in her brain. She couldn’t believe she was here apologizing to Ino again, _ again. _She’d never learn.

Ino shook her head and sat up straight, like she’d steeled herself too, like she just had to rip the bandage off. She cleared her throat before she said, “I am choosing you, Haruno Sakura. I don’t—can’t, I care about what she says anymore. Because it will just make me try to live up to an expectation of myself I can’t uphold. I don’t know much, I don’t pay attention to much. I don’t have very many plans, you know this about me.” Sakura could feel Ino reaching out to her with her words, like a fishing line had been caught in her sleeve, but she made herself resist. “But I do know one thing, I’ve been minding one thing, I have one plan.”

Sakura shook her head, bit her lip. She felt so weak for crying. She was choking on it, how stupid she must look. “Sakura…” Ino’s voice was still so clear, so even; how?

“No, no, you listen to me.” Sakura jabbed a finger at Ino. Maybe, if she directed her passion for this silly woman into anger, she’d get over this folly and it would be fine. “You _ hurt _ me, Ino. You used me. You told me you loved me, and you’d tell me things, and promise me things, promise me _ you _, and I have to find out from Temari’s snapchat that you went and fucked some other girl on any given night. And you lie to me about it, like I wouldn’t find out, like I’m an idiot. And I am, because I let you do it. I crawl back to you when we fight, let you crawl back in my bed when you’re out doing what the fuck you want to do.” Sakura breathed in, out, in, out. Measured. Now was not the time to lose control. Sakura let her arms loose from her nails and glanced down at them to see thin pink lines where her blood had risen. 

Ino’s eyes were shocked. She’d never heard this part of Sakura’s mind. Sakura had had enough. “You take me for granted, Ino. You know that I love you and I’d do anything, wait for you forever. Is that why you do it? You know that no matter how many girls you fuck, I’ll always take you back.” Sakura shook her head and threw her hands up in frustration. “I can’t live like this, Ino! Every time you don’t like something, you drink and snort fucking coke and end up in bed with some girl. And I wait for you, because I know that when you’re done running away, you run back to me. And I love you, so I never turn you away. Because where would you go? No one else will take you.” Sakura was pacing. 

“Sakura, I—”

Sakura stopped pacing to stand directly in front of Ino. She shook her head fast, manically. “No, no, no.” She fell to her knees then. Her face was in her hands, and she was crying, of course, sobbing. Weakling, the voice in her head said. Stupid. Foolish. This was a farce. There was no hope for this. 

Sakura felt Ino’s hand on her shoulder, and she stopped shaking. She lifted her to see Ino was on the floor with her, attempting to hold her. 

“I came here to say sorry for all of that.” Her voice was so quiet that Sakura had to hold her breath to hear. She was still shaking her head, even as she felt Ino’s arms envelope her, even as she pressed her face wearily into Ino’s neck. “No, no,” she repeated, over and over, until Ino’s shushing made her be quiet. Sakura wondered what her parents thought about this. They were just kneeling there, in the middle of the floor, weak and shaky and Sakura was crying. She shuddered to think.

“I pick you. Over everything. Over uncertainty, over myself, over my mom. I want to be with you, forever. As my partner. As the person I lean on forever. I lean on you and I don’t let you lean back. I’m going to fix it, I’m going to change. I promise. I have one plan. To be with you, wherever you are.”

***

Even still, it took Sakura a long time to trust Ino again. Ino would invite her to parties, and Sakura would lie and say she was too tired to go. Instead, she’d just be in her dorm, watching the wall for hours. Sometimes, Ino would invite her to coffee, or a movie, something, _ anything, _and Sakura would decline. It wasn’t until the springtime that Sakura started to come around. She would go to Ino’s gigs again, and at first try not to watch her too closely. She conditioned herself to think that Ino would just leave with someone else, or at least sneak off and break her heart again. 

But Ino never did.

So Sakura started to trust her, one inch every day, little by little, until they were nearly back to the way they’d been before. Except this time, it was better. They were closer than before, if possible. Ino really wanted to _ be _with Sakura, and Sakura had never wanted anything more in her life than to be the person Ino called hers. 

Sometimes, Ino let Sakura pick her playlists for her gigs. Sakura made sure to slip at least one or two love songs in, because those were the times Ino would come and dance with her, hold her hand, or take her outside so that they could breathe. 

“You know what’s really funny?” Sakura’s voice almost blew away on the breeze. Despite the wind, it was still getting warm again. She was leaning against the wall next to Ino, who was still wheezing a little. Screaming at the crowds made her voice go scratchy, most of the time. In the light of the street lamp, Sakura could see Ino’s earrings gleaming. She’d replaced the ones that Ino had lost.

Ino shook her head. Her face was towards the ground, but she looked up to answer Sakura. “No, I don’t know.”

“I… that night, we met, I told Sai that we were from other worlds. Well, rather, your world isn’t my world. The parties, the glitz, the glamor, all the glitter and stuff. No one besides my roommates and my childhood friends knew my name. And now, because of you, I feel like everyone knows my name. Like, I can’t go anywhere without someone I’ve never seen before saying hi to me. Their next question is usually where are you, but, they still talk to me.” 

Ino’s chest rose and fell evenly and she scratched her chin as she thought. “I guess that is funny,” she said with a smile. “A coincidence, rather. I mean, look at us. You’re wearing _ mesh _. And you were cutting tracks for like, three hours. I never would have thought you had it in you.” Sakura felt Ino’s hand searching for hers against the brick wall. She let Ino’s fingers twine through hers. “I’m so glad that you came into my world.”

Sakura shook her head and turned away a little. Sometimes, it didn’t seem real. “I said something else, too, in my mind. They told me, Sasuke told me, that you were outta my league. I think he was right, really. But… more than that, I thought you were, like, planetary.”

“Planet? I’ve been working out, Sakura,” Ino said with a disingenuous pout. Sakura rolled her eyes and turned her head back to look at Ino. “No, listen, stupid. Like, as magnetic as a planet, all mysterious and stuff. With rings, and moons, and all kinds of colors, the dark side. Like, the center of my universe. And I was destined to be nothing but one of your many satellites. But you’ve made me feel so… oh, I don’t know.” Sakura looked to the rocks underneath her feet, kicked at the gravel. Her eyes were getting wet, and her throat was getting tight. Ino’s hand squeezed hers tight.

“It’s just, like, it’s just that you made me feel big, too? Big like a planet. Big, like my own girl. You helped me to discover pieces of myself, and I just got bigger and bigger until I became my own planet, too. Now I feel like I don’t have to orbit around any one else. Even though, I enjoy being your satellite. I wanna go where you go, be connected to you forever.” Sakura coughed and looked up to see Ino’s face streaked with her makeup. “Flower girl…” Her voice trailed off, she shook her head. Sakura smiled at her, a small smile the held the meaning of her heart. 

Ino twisted her body then, so that she and Sakura were facing one another with one side of each of them pressed to the wall. “I’m glad. But _ you’re _ the one I need to follow. And I think… I don’t want to be a scientist.” Sakura scoffed; that much was obvious. Still, she allowed herself to be curious, because while she knew what Ino didn’t want to do, she had no idea what she _ did _, not really. 

“What do you wanna do, then?” 

Ino shrugged. “That’s the thing, I don’t really know, besides the farm thing. That’s not really sustainable, and my dad did say ‘or else’ and I don’t wanna know what that means. But I… also don’t care. I’m 23, I shouldn’t be scared of him anymore.” Ino closed her eyes. Sakura had seen the hurt in them before she’d squeezed them shut. Ino was thinking about her mom. Sakura pushed Ino’s bang out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. 

“You can do whatever you wanna do, you know that. Maybe not a farm but, uh, pets? A lotta pets.” Sakura had been dancing around it, the feeling tugging at her heart, the desire at the front of her brain. Now wasn’t the time, she decided. The love song that was thumping against the walls was winding down. Sakura slid her hand down from Ino’s ear to her chin so that she could lift Ino’s eyes to hers. “Better get back to your beats, DJ.”

Ino smiled sadly. “No, remember? It’s your turn, Forehead.”

***

Their parents met at graduation. Sakura felt giddy the whole day. She and all of her friends, honored one more time for all of their hard work. Sure, it had been difficult. But hearing her name called, walking across the stage, seeing her parents in the crowd, and being recognized for all of her work to improve the ecosystem of the university made everything worth it.

Sakura stood behind her mother as she shook Ino’s father’s hand. She and Sakura’s father talked amiably, and then they all turned their attention to Ino, who was quite nearly inciting a riot by starting a chant. Sakura sighed in deep anguish and with extreme emotion. She loved that stupid girl, so much. 

When it all calmed down and Ino came to talk to Sakura’s parents, she first apologized. “I’m sorry for hurting your daughter, and making her cry, and… not being the person she wanted me to be.” Ino held a hand of each of Sakura’s parents. They were listening intently, and Sakura thought she saw a tear drop from her mother’s already wet eyes. “I’m better now, different, and I hope that one day, we can all be happy together. Like… a family.” And then, Ino squeezed Sakura’s mother tight. Sakura couldn’t stand to watch.

“I don’t know much about life… still don’t know what I wanna do with myself. But I love your daughter,” Ino looked at Sakura over her shoulder, “and my only plan is to be with her.”

***

Now, Sakura knew what to do with herself. She woke up every morning next to Ino, and their daughter in between them most of the time. “Yua, you need to sleep in your own bed,” Ino would tell her groggily, before wrapping her arm tighter around her neck, like she was a teddy bear. Yua would shake her blonde head and squeeze her eyes shut tighter. Sakura would turn her head to see the picture of she and Ino on their wedding day, and it gave her the energy to make it through the day. 

It gave her purpose. And she knew that she gave Ino purpose too. She, and their baby. That night 6 years ago had sealed the beginning the rest of their lives. They’d been drifting, floating, like seeds in the breeze. Sakura felt that Ino was the glue that kept her life together. It was very hard to keep Ino’s mind on what mattered, because she had never been that kind of girl. But Sakura and Yua were the exception. If Ino didn’t care about anything, she cared about them. If Ino didn’t know anything, she knew she loved them. If Ino never knew what she was going to do, she knew that she’d be right here forever.

“I love you, pig girl,” Sakura whispered against Ino’s forehead after kissing it, scratching at the inside of her arm where she had her own pig tattoo. “I love you, flower girl,” Ino would reply, and then roll over to hug their daughter to her chest. 


End file.
